I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
