Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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