Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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