you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
