I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
