Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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