please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
