So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
