speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
