just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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