I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
