There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize