there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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