i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize