Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I will be naked everywhere
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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