I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
