so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
