Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
