She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
