i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
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