I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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