What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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