PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
