Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
