..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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