So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
