it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
