there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
