So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize