Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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