gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
