I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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