Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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