Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
