he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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