You're so nebulous sometimes
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
