so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
