Fuck appropriateness.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
