I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
