My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
