The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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