He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
