$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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