They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There r osticjed everywhere
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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