Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
