I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
