the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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