Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
