You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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