There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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