You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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