I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
