i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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