highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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