Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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