You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
