My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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