I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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