u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
