so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
